“It was supposed to be a tribute to BeyoncĂ©, but people did not take it that way.”
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“It was supposed to be a tribute to BeyoncĂ©, but people did not take it that way.”




“I’m Petra’s father.”




“Staying true to my guru’s ‘keep up’ imperative and quite recently having become a yoga teacher myself, I continued to teach through the production period, having a crew of yogis doing body drops and chanting ‘Har’ in our office even the night before we went to print. Why, you could ask, is keeping up so important? If you keep up a daily practice, you will eventually start to align. If you are aligned, things start to happen. Not to you, but for you.”

“What kind of crap forest doesn’t have a cell tower?”

“Never fear. We will come up with something very smart at the very last minute that solves all our problems!”

“All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.”

“So it’s actually only two of us now. Myself and my grandmother, Nana Connie. We like to watch 60 Minutes because Lesley Stahl is fearless.”



“It’s this new hookup app my company is launching. We’ve got Grindr. We’ve got Tinder. This is Zellweger. It’s for gay guys who just want to talk about actresses, then go to bed.”








“Kiki’s never sure if she’ll perform, until she does. Sometimes she’s not in the mood, says she’s too drunk. It’s different now that people come here to watch her, now that she stands in front instead of among them. They clang their cutlery and chant her name until she takes her place in the light and starts her slow-motion dance, no distance to lend her mystery, no stage to make her majestic, everyone sharing the same heat and smelling the same sweat.”



